Dietitians estimate that the average American consumes an average 3,000 calories (229 grams of fat) for a Thanksgiving meal that ostensibly includes turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls and pumpkin pie.
If you're health conscious, you substitute the meal of gluttony with Tofurky, steamed brussel sprouts and broccoli, whole-cranberry relish and seasonal fruit cocktail.
But if you take the devil-may-care approach (and don't want to burn your pergola down when deep frying your turkey), you can't go wrong with turducken.
Americans trace the history of turducken back to pro-football analyst John Madden, who carved the bird amalgamation -- de-boned chicken, de-boned duck and de-boned turkey wrapped between layers of stuffing -- during an NFL telecast. Food history says otherwise.
Europeans ate roasts of deboned fowls for centuries before the NFL telecast Thanksgiving Day games. Wealth English in the 18th century ate Yorkshire Christmas Pie - layers of de-boned birds baked in a crust. In 1807, French gastronomist Grimond de Reyniere created his piece de resistance: rôti sans pareil ("roast without equal"), a protein-fueled concoction of turkey, goose, pheasant, chicken, duck, guinea fowl, teal, woodcock, partridge, plover, lapwing, quail, trush, ortolan bunting and garden warbler.
Dietitians estimate that a slice of turducken ranges from 900 calories to 1,639 calories.
Skip dessert. And next week's meals.
Start Googling for the names of cardiologists in your locale.
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