Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, top with fried egg

If Americans can't satiate their fat-laden appetites with bacon double cheeseburgers, they might find satisfaction with the newest fatty food fad: burgers with fried eggs.

Burgers with fried eggs mark what foodies label as the "gross food diet": "a grassroots movement of all things deep-fried, bacon-wrapped and cheese-slathered," Robert Ashley of Gourmet wrote last year. Ashley attributed the popularity of the "gross food movement" to an online audience that attempts to "create food concoctions that violate all the rules of healthy living and gustatory sophistication."

So, a Wagyu burger with foie gras, truffles and Gruyere cheese on a briosch bun is superior to the fabled "Luther burger" -- Angus beef, bacon slices, cheddar atop a grilled Krispy Kreme doughnut? Are you siding with "gross food movement" opponent John Tesh, the former Entertainment Tonight host and composer of New Age, smooth jazz and contemporary Christian music? Or you are aligned with Travel Channel's Man v. Food host Adam Richman?

Those of us with slowing metabolisms probably can't make regular meals out of the Memphis Mafia (banana fritter with a chocolate-and-peanut-butter glaze) from Portland's Voodoo Doughnut, Fat Darrell (a sandwich that includes chicken fingers with fried mozzarella sticks, french fries and marinara sauce) from the R.U. Hungry? "grease truck" in New Brunswick, NJ or Iguana's Burritozilla (five-pound, 17-inch burrito) in San José, CA. Richman, who tackles improbable food challenges, is our "food double", the man with whom we can vicariously enjoy the high-caloric, high-cholesterol grub. The Man v. Food host takes the proverbial bullet in the gut for us when he tackles the:

• The Texas King challenge (72-ounce steak, baked potato, salad, shrimp cocktail, dinner roll eaten within one hour) at the Big Texan in Amarillo, TX;
• The Mac Daddy challenge (three 14-inch pancakes covered in one-pound of toppings such as blueberries, macadamia nuts or pineapple eaten within 90 minutes) at Mac 24/7 in Honolulu, HI;
• The Fifth Third Burger challenge (burger consisting of five one-third pound beef patties, five cheese slices, chili, salsa, lettuce, tomatoes, corn chips and sour cream eaten within 2½ innings) at West Michigan White Caps' Comstock Park, Michigan.

John Tesh, indeed.